Mama Plays to Win
by A Silver Cloud's Lullaby
Summary: You know the world's gone nutty when you find yourself lips-to-lips with the person you claim to hate. It's even nuttier when you find yourself enjoying it. ONESHOT Seddie


**Hola, peoples! So, I watched iKiss yesterday. HOLY CRAP THAT WAS AMAZING!**

**So, this is a little fic getting into the thoughts of Freddie and Sam and how they felt about the kiss. This is just how I interperated everything I saw, with my own little spin on things. It's kinda slow. The background is mostly in Sam's thoughts and the dialogue is mostly in Freddie's thoughts. It was fun to write.**

**I haven't read any fanfics from anyone else pertaining to the kiss. Heck, I don't even know if there are any, so any similiarities are merely coincidental. I'll have to read any tomorrow.**

**Anyway, I'm sorry again if this is too slow. It's how it turned out, even through editing. But I like it. It was fun to do. I tried to keep them in character as much as possible. Let me know how I did. :)**

**Disclaimer: HAHA! Like I own anything *chuckles_

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_**Sam**_

You know things have gone nutty when you find yourself lips-to-lips with the person you claim to hate. It's even nuttier when you find yourself enjoying it. I mean, I know that teenage hormones are supposed to, like, flair or something because kisses are supposed to trigger it but…

I'm not making any sense, am I? You know, it's probably due to the fact that my brain is a nice pile of scrambled eggs with a side of bacon because of said situation above. I'll lay it out simply for you all.

_I kissed Fredward Benson_.

Yeah, I know. Impossible, right? That's what I would have thought. I might have even added an insult and a few fake dry-heaves just to prove my point. But it happened. It happened all because of a stupid prank involving me putting a dead fish in Freddie's locker. And you know why it all started with that?

Because the dork actually decided to _get back_ at me. He had the nerve to get revenge on _me_! Sam Puckett! In a weird way, I have a little respect for the nerd to actually have the guts to even consider getting back at _me_, but he went WAY over the line! You know what he did? Do ya?

He handcuffed me to Gibby! _Gibby_!

When I finally got passed the shock, I ran after him with all the menace I had. When I finally caught up to him (hey, I was chained to chubby boy, and I had to carry that extra weight! It's natural that I couldn't catch up to him as fast as I could have.) He was hiding behind Carly in the safety—or so he thought—of her locked apartment. So I yanked the chain off the door. I chased him around towing Gibby behind me until he finally agreed to give me the key to the handcuffs (Carly selfishly refused to get the key out of Fredward's pocket. Couldn't she see I was handcuffed to the earth's biggest mistake here?!).

Then the dork actually claims that we're _even_. Ha! He thinks I'd let him go after he pulled a stunt like _that_? He's got another thing comin'. As I told him before, Mama plays to _win_. He was scared, I could feel it. That was good. Let him live in fear. The suspense should keep him on his toes.

I hadn't thought of a good way to get him back. But then inspiration had finally struck. And it was gooooood. Oh so good. Like better than Gallini's coconut cream pie, good. The three of us had been talking about first kisses. I left to go buy potato salad before Freddie could tell his. When I realized I needed to borrow money, I came back just in time to hear him tell Carly that he had never kissed a girl. _And_ he didn't want me to know. Oh, revenge was _so_ sweet.

So, being the evil mastermind that I am, before we ended our webcast, I kindly announced to the world that Freddie had never kissed anyone. The poor nerd was frozen with shock—and fear. My work was done. So I just waltzed out, letting the rest take over.

…Don't look at me like that. OK, so maybe it _was_ kind of mean. And maybe he got made fun of a lot. And maybe he got a teacher yelling out his "secret" in front of the rest of the school that didn't know. And, OK, so he had to miss school for almost a week…

OK, OK! It was downright cruel! I get it! But he _deserved_ it. Besides, the boy needs to toughen up. He needs to grow a spine! The world isn't all sunshine and lowfat cucumber cups like his crazed-up mother says.

Whatever, you can stop with the guilt-trip. Carly eventually gave it to me after a week. I hadn't seen Carly that mad since we fought over the Cuddlefish tickets and the one-of-a-kind iCarly T-shirt she had made me. actually, she was angrier. She's never chewed me out like that before. I didn't like it.

It's not like I _wanted_ to ruin Fredweird's life! I just wanted to get him back for handcuffing me to Gibby. I honestly didn't know he was going to be _that_ miserable. Just because we fight all the time, and I pick on him constantly, doesn't mean that I would intentionally destroy him. I felt _really_ bad. And I _rarely_ feel as guilty as I did then. I really do care for the dork, and the fact that I even got Carly so upset with me just made me feel all the worse.

So I did the only thing I could do.

I apologized on iCarly. I even threatened everyone to lay off of Freddie. Seriously. Only _I_ was allowed to make fun of him. And if anyone else was going to do it, they had to answer to me, especially if it's about him not having his first kiss. I bet you my life that most of those people hadn't kissed anyone. I even said so.

I even went as far as to blab _my_ secret. That _I_ had never kissed anyone. And I threw in that they would have to pick on me about it, but they'd better live near a hospital.

Carly had to stop the show after that. I knew she was proud of me. But I was still to ridden with guilt and embarrassment to really care. So I told her I had to talk to Freddie. I knew I had to. I didn't really _want_ to (hey I already lost most of my dignity, can you blame me?), but I knew I had to. So I took the meatballs for comfort along the way.

Freddie was sitting outside his fire-escape listening to music. He looked so peaceful, but I could see the hurt underlying the surface. But he let me join him, so he couldn't have been _too_ mad. That was a bit of comfort. It was because he had seen our webcast. But the silence was so _awkward_.

So I offered him my last meatball.

Hey, if you think about it, that's pretty generous for me. But he didn't want it, so I just threw it over the fire-escape.

The silence was getting awkward again. So I took the initiative and apologized about what I did. I also added the shampoo thing, sending his cell to Cambodia, and just wrapped it up into everything that I've done to him. He gave me a crooked smile, so I knew I was forgiven.

He could feel the tension as well as I could, so to lighten it up, he asked if I wasn't going to mess with him. Yeah, _right_. I told him as much. But I admitted that I would apologize so I could start fresh. He was happy about it. He agreed that it would be weird if I never messed with him. I was glad. But, being Freddie, he asked if I could ease up a little. I told him no.

It was starting to get awkward again. But now was different. I felt a little nervous. I wasn't used to having this kind of "heart-to-heart" thing. With _Freddie,_ no less. I felt the need to say something. I said it was dumb that people would freak over their first kiss. I mean, it's _just_ a kiss. But due to my rambling (and I _never_ ramble), I admitted that I wanted to get it over with. But he felt the same way, so it was all good.

It was silent for a moment. He seemed to be thinking something. Then he chuckled softly. I was curious. But he wouldn't tell me. We went back and forth a few times before he finally gave in. He started, but it didn't take an idiot to figure where this was going. I smirked a little and finished his sentence, "We should kiss?"

He looked a little embarrassed, but a little scared too. Even I'll admit, he looked pretty cute (And if you ever tell anyone I said that, you'll wake up in Mexico).

He asked if I was going to break his arm. I understood why, but I was a little flattered that he even thought of me. Normally, I would think that he would ask Carly, even though he knows she would turn him down. It felt nice to be chosen over her for once. So I told him I wasn't.

He looked at me from the side, a little hesitant. He asked me if we should kiss. Just to get it over with. My heart thudded. I didn't know why. I mean, it wasn't as if I _liked_ him. But the invitation was tempting. I thought it over. I made sure it was _just_ to get it over with, though I knew he would never have any other intentions. He confirmed that.

My heart thudded even harder. I was…excited. Weird. I got up to sit next to him. I actually…_wanted_ to do this. But at the same time, I was afraid it would change things. I didn't want anything to be awkward—permanently anyway. I made him promise we would go back to hating each other. (Well, as close to hating as we were right now.) We agreed we wouldn't tell anyone. Ever.

It was silent for a few moments. Both of us were scared to do anything. Freddie looked more nervous than I did, but that could just be because he was afraid I would cause him physical harm. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore.

"Well," I said impatiently, "lean!"

He took a deep breath and we both leaned in. We closed our eyes, and our lips met. The millisecond they made contact, it was as if we'd been shocked with electricity. My eyes snapped open in shock. They widened even more when Freddie deepened the kiss.

_What the heck_?

This was so wrong. This was _just_ to get it over with. I had thought this would be a quick peck and we would go on with our bickering lives! I wasn't supposed to feel a _zap_. Maybe that was just how all kisses were. Yeah, that's it.

But Freddie wasn't supposed to deepen the kiss either! And I wasn't supposed to be enjoying this as much as I was. My heart was thudding even more, and it seemed as if my blood was pulsing in my veins. I was glad I wasn't the blushing type.

He _still_ wasn't pulling away. I mean, it's not that I was complaining, but… Maybe he wanted _me_ to pull away first. I looked at him (I still hadn't closed my eyes again). He seemed to be enjoying himself as much as I was. Maybe this was just a teenage-hormone thing. But he was continuing to deepen it. I was afraid to do anything but sit there stoically. But I was enjoying this _way_ too much. It felt so…good.

Whatever. I just raised my eyebrows to myself thinking, _Might as well enjoy it while it lasts_. I closed my eyes to get into it, but then he pulled away.

I was confused as to how disappointed I was that he pulled away. I still felt that tingly sensation on my lips. Was this normal for kisses?

Neither of us knew what to say. Should I tell him that it was just that awesome? Should I go back to how it would really be and say something along the lines of, "Well, I'm going to go puke now." I couldn't say that, though. One, I didn't know if I'd be able to pull it off (yeah, it was _that_ good). Two, I think it would hurt him, and I've hurt Freddie enough for one week.

"Well," he started. His voice was huskier. It was kind of…sexy. "That was…"

I deliberated. "Nice," I finished. Might as well go with the honest route. I mean, it wasn't like it was going to change anything. Right?

But at the same time, I almost wished that it would. _Almost_.

"Yeah, nice," he agreed awkwardly, voice still husky.

I didn't know what else to say. I felt just as awkward and nervous. "Good…work?"

"Thank you, you too," he said quickly.

I was still so confused. It was _Freddie_. How could I like that kiss so much? It was just a _kiss_, like I had said. It was a first kiss. No need to make a big deal out of it.

But it _was_ a big deal. I would never forget this. It was possibly the best first kiss of all first kisses.

I realized I sounded almost as cheesy as that one teen movie I saw with Carly. But I knew I wasn't lying.

Still feeling awkward, and without knowing what else to do other than moving my lips from side to side (I was trying to get rid of the tingly feeling—it wasn't working), I turned around to leave. What else was there to do?

When I stepped inside, I stopped at Freddie calling to me. I turned to look at him, almost shyly.

"I hate you," he said with a smile.

I felt disappointment wash over me. I scoffed at myself for feeling that. what was I expecting? A declaration of love? I didn't want that anyway. So I covered it up with a smirk. "I hate you, too," I answered, although I knew that wasn't even close to what I was feeling.

Though, in a way, I know we both didn't mean it. We knew we didn't hate each other. We were friends. But we had a reputation to keep up. And he was just reminding me of that, in a friendly way.

As I walked away, I felt the confusion linger. I felt something in that kiss. I didn't know what it was. And honestly, I was afraid of what it was. And what about that disappointment I felt at Freddie's and mine odd little good-bye? I _hadn't_ been expecting a declaration of love, or even attraction for that matter. But…did I…want it? I wasn't sure.

It's funny. I had told Freddie before that Mama plays to win. I know that no matter what the outcome, I always win something when it comes to me and Freddie. It may not have happened the way I wanted it, but could it be that I won a crush on Freddie Benson?

No. No, no, no. I wouldn't let myself. It wasn't the Sam and Freddie way.

I knew that whatever I was feeling for Freddie now would have to go away soon. It _had_ to. We promised each other. We promised that we would go back to the way things were. And that's exactly what we were going to do.

But as I came to that conclusion, I couldn't help but feel a tinge of sadness as I kept walking, thinking of that amazing sensation I had when we kissed.

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_**Freddie**_

Sam's and mine relationship is complicated. But now after tonight, it's even _more_ complicated. And it happened because she told my stupid secret that I'd never been kissed in front of our entire iCarly audience. Which, by the way, is a nice percentage of the world.

I was shocked that she would even do that. I was _mortified_. It felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water on me. I was completely _frozen_. I even dropped my video camera! You know it's bad when I don't take proper care of my technical equipment.

How could she even do that? I knew Sam was vicious….but that just crossed the line! It was absolutely _heartless_. All I did was handcuff her to Gibby because she put a dead fish in my locker. But _she_ had to ruin my life!

School was hell the next day. I came in with a disguise. Carly had convinced me to take it off. It took her longer than it would have, because I knew my insane crush on her was fizzling away. I didn't know how long it would be until it completely dissolved—if it would ever dissolve.

But, nonetheless, she convinced me to take off the disguise.

It was a _bad_ idea. The guys made kissy-noises at me. My teacher so _kindly_ (note the sarcasm) announced my secret to any bystanders that hadn't already heard. Even _sixth grade girls_ were making fun of me. It was the most embarrassing day of my entire life.

I skipped the rest of school. In fact, I skipped the whole week. I even missed our iCarly rehearsals. There was no way I was ever talking to Sam _again_. I was beyond furious with her. It was to the point I couldn't even _look _at her.

Carly was worried about me, I could tell. She knew I wouldn't even talk to my mom. I just sat out on my fire-escape, thinking of anywhere I could possibly transfer. But I knew it would be impossible. ICarly had tons of fans. There had to be at least one in some school anywhere across the globe. I bet hobos even knew about my pathetic secret.

But no matter what degree of concern Carly had for me, nothing she could do could convince me to go back to school or to iCarly. I told her she would have to shoot the webcast without me. She was sad, but she understood.

A week after the day of hell happened, I sat outside my fire-escape with my usual stuff. Comfy chair, PearPod to listen to music, the works. I even brought my laptop. Just because I was furious at Sam doesn't mean I couldn't at least support Carly and watch their webcast.

I was shocked, to say the least, when Sam made her public apology. I was even more shocked that she lied and said _she_ hadn't kissed anyone either. I couldn't help but give a soft chuckle when she threatened anyone who would make fun of her.

It really made me question if Sam really hated me like she claimed she did. I mean, she stood up for me and lied about herself not having her first kiss on a _live webshow_. That took a lot, especially for her. Whatever fury I had melted away.

I shut off my laptop and turned up my music. I had a lot to think about. I knew Sam was sincerely sorry for what she did. She wouldn't have embarrassed herself on iCarly had she not been. I knew I would forgive her. I cared about her a lot, no matter what she did to me. And tonight made it for sure that she was the same way. It kind of made me wonder where our relationship would go from here.

Fifteen minutes later, I heard a knock. I turned and saw it was Sam. I motioned for her to join me. I got up to sit on the ladder, closer to her. The air was filled with an awkward silence.

So she offered me a meatball. Leave it to Sam to offer food at a time like this.

But I turned it down.

It was silent again for a bit. "That was really brave," I started, smiling, "what you said."

She looked embarrassed, almost worried. "You heard?"

I laughed and held up my laptop. "You didn't think I'd miss iCarly?"

Sam clenched her fist. "I'm sorry," she finally said with a sigh. "About telling people you never kissed anyone. And about putting blue cheese in your shampoo bottle. _And_ for sending your cell phone to Cambodia. _Everything_."

I gave her a crooked smile to show her I forgave her. I knew this was hard for her. so I tried to lighten up the mood. "So does this mean you're not gonna mess with me anymore?"

She gave me an incredulous look. "No, I'm still gonna mess with you. I'm just gonna apologize every few years so I can start fresh again."

I chuckled. "Good."

She raised her eyebrow. "Good?" she repeated confused.

I smiled. "Yeah! it'd be weird not to have you make my life miserable all the time!" I paused. "You know, maybe you could pull back just a little—"

She gave me a look. "I don't think so."

"I didn't either."

It was silent for a little bit. Then Sam said that everything was dumb. About getting your first kiss. I quickly agreed, still a little uncomfortable with this. But she emphasized it, and it occurred to me.

"So you weren't lying?" I asked. "You've _really_ never kissed anyone?"

"Nope," she said.

I didn't know how to respond. But she began to ramble about how she wished she could get it over with. I agreed once more. But she kept on going until she finally stopped.

It was silent for a moment when a thought struck me. _Maybe we should just kiss to get it over with_. I chuckled at the absurdity of the thought. She'd probably kill me if she knew that us kissing even crossed my mind.

"What?" she asked. Crap, I had hoped she wouldn't ask.

"Nothing," I replied, hoping she would lay off. But she didn't. she kept probing. I finally gave in. "I was gonna say that—"

"We should kiss?" she finished with a ghost of a smirk.

I tensed and looked at her with shifty eyes. "You're going to break my arm now, right?" I asked, the fear embarrassingly evident in my voice.

"No," she answered.

I looked at her, surprised. She looked…a little flattered. My heartbeat started to increase. Maybe…

I glanced at her again, a little hesitant. "Should we?" I asked again. "Just so both of us could get it over with?" My heart was pounding. I prayed she didn't hear it. I didn't even know why it was going out of control like this. this hadn't happened since my crush on Carly was at its peak.

She mulled over the idea. "Hmm… Just to get it over with?"

"Just to get it over with," I repeated immediately.

She moved quickly closer to me. "And you swear we go right back to hating each other."

"Totally." A thought struck me. "And we never tell _anyone_."

"Never." She agreed.

There was an awkward silence. My heart was still pounding. I wasn't sure what to do. I gulped. Did I have a reason to be this nervous?

"Well," she said with impatience, "lean!"

I took a deep breath. It couldn't be that hard right? She did look really pretty (_please_ don't tell her I said that. I want to live.). We both leaned in and closed our eyes. It was _amazing_.

The millisecond we made contact, it felt like I was zapped with electricity. I immediately deepened the kiss, not wanting the feeling to go away. I wasn't sure if this was how all kisses were supposed to be like, but I didn't care. However, I knew that it wasn't like this for that half of a second Valerie kissed me. And that zap happened almost instantly.

I didn't feel Sam respond. It worried me a little. So I deepened the kiss more, enjoying every bit of the testosterone rush coursing through me, trying to get her to respond. The kiss felt like forever, though I knew it was only maybe six or seven seconds. That's longer than Sam had even planned with Shane.

When she still didn't respond, I pulled back. The tingly sensation still lingered. I raised my eyebrows. It really wasn't half-bad. I had expected a kiss with Sam to be whatever, maybe even slightly repulsive (that was before either of us were even somewhat civil to each other). But that was…amazing. I was hungry for more, but I knew I definitely couldn't push my luck.

Almost instantly though, confusion wafted over me. What did all that mean? All that enjoyment. I mean, I know I'm a guy and all, and that's kind of how we're hardwired but… Were we really supposed to enjoy something _that_ much? Maybe with Valerie that spark didn't happen because the kiss didn't last long enough. But like I said before, that zap happened the moment Sam's and mine lips met.

Oh man. Oh man, oh man, oh man. _Please_ don't tell me…

Awkwardness dripped out of everything. We couldn't even look at each other. But I knew I had to say something. _Anything_ to distract me from the thought forcing it's way through my brain. "Well," I began. My voice was hoarse. That was a little embarrassing. "That was, um—"

"Nice," she finished, pursing her lips.

"Yeah. Nice." Nice didn't even _begin_ to cover it. It was awkward again, and the thought was getting stronger.

"Good…work?"

"Thank you, you too," I replied instantly and distractedly. Ugh. The thought was coming out. I knew I couldn't suppress it any longer.

I had a little crush Sam Puckett.

Crap. I was so dead. I had promised her we could go back to the way things were before! But she couldn't know that. I had to at least _try_.

As she walked stiffly away, I stopped her. I looked up at her. She could hardly look at me. She looked almost shy. I couldn't help it. She looked too cute. "I hate you," I said with a smile. I knew I was flirting, but I couldn't help it.

She scoffed a little. She looked almost…disappointed. Probably because she caught that I was flirting. I'd have to try harder to get things back the way they used to be. "I hate you, too," she answered.

But even then, I knew she didn't mean it. She was replying to the way I said it. She didn't flirt like I did, but she meant it friendly. I was glad.

I watched her leave. It kind of sucked that I had a little crush on her. Maybe it was just the effect of the kiss. But at the same time, I knew that wasn't it. And I wasn't sure how long it would last, or if it would even go away. I still had my crush on Carly, but I knew it was fizzling, and Sam was just making her way in.

I gave a light chuckle when Sam became out of sight. She had told me before, "Mama plays to win." She didn't know how right she was. She _always_ won when it came to us, and this was no exception. She didn't win how she intended to, but she still won. She won _me_ however slight it was, whether she wanted it or not.

_But she doesn't want it_, I thought to myself with a sad half-smile. So I'll just have to force myself out of it. I didn't know if I would succeed, but I had to try.

I promised her.

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Please review! Loves to all. :)


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